Update

Well, as usual, I sit my butt down at the computer to do something "productive" (is blogging productive?) and someone starts screaming... I have found that if you ignore it long enough, it will go away... and so it has stopped. I have also found that if you close your eyes, they can't find you. I may be officially going crazy!

Seems all I do these days is post incoherent ramblings about whatever comes to mind. At least it's something.

Nathan got up at 5 this morning. I really can't complain too much... but 5am, damn! They are great sleepers and go to bed around 7:15 for Nathan and 7:30 for Caroline. So they sleep for 10-11 hours straight... I guess *I* am the one who needs to go to bed earlier.


I have become addicted to a couple of shows lately. This hasn't happened since Amanda and I had pizza and ER nights back in Bozeman. I really make a date with the TV! One is 'The Biggest Loser'... I love seeing how those people have completely changed their lives. The other is 'Glee'... I still can't understand why I *have* to watch it... brain candy???


Speaking of candy... New Moon comes out this weekend and even though I thought the books were horribly written, I still read them all (even if I completely suffered through making myself finish Breaking Dawn... it took weeks) AND even if I thought the first movie was horrible (I downloaded a bootleg version of it on the computer)... I am still going to go see the second one. Even Jeremy doesn't understand why I want to see the movie. He also had to suffer through me reading the books... I complained the whole time. I still don't understand how these books got to be so popular, especially with women in my demographic. It's just a good excuse to get out of the house. Everyone else is doing it, so why can't I?


It seems that everyone also has an iPod and I got my first one a few weeks ago. I mainly got it to teach some spinning classes. I am currently trying to get ALL of our music loaded on the computer, then I will need to go through it because my iPod *only* holds 16GB and I am over 20GB into our music collection. A lot of it is stuff that I just don't listen to any more and there are also a number of CDs that are Jeremy's that I never listened to anyhow. Then... playlists!!! This thing is likely to consume my life...

David will be three at the end of the month. We are having his party this weekend since many of his friends will be out of town for Thanksgiving. He wants a Thomas cake and we have rented a small moonwalk for the occasion. He's had to do a lot of growing up fast since the babies were born and I continue to raise expectations of him. Sometimes I wonder if I push him too hard. He really amazes me though! He's been potty trained since May but still wears a diaper at night and for the most part has dry naps, he can do 50+ piece puzzles, he knows all his letters and can tell you what letter something begins with, he is insanely polite and when he tells me "No!" he actually says, "NO thank you!", he can get fully dressed/undressed but sometimes a particular shirt will give him trouble... he's so big!

There are a number of things that he loves to do but the babies complicate the situation. [Ex: He loves working puzzles but the babies take and eat the pieces... so we work them at the table... it makes the babies mad that they can't have the puzzle so they both throw a fit... so, we sit them at the table with their own puzzle... they still want David's and continue to throw a fit because they are trying to get out of their seats to crawl across the table but they are buckled in. Sigh!] So, he waits to do things until the babies are in bed. Most of his real educational time with us is when he is the most tired. I am so thankful for his preschool!

I so desperately want to send the babies to preschool next year but I think I am going to have to find a part-time job to fund it. The sad thing is that I just want some time to myself... getting a job (more than likely a BS job) to send them to MDO is somewhat self-defeating.

There is no telling how many toys, cups, etc. have ended up in the trash. I constantly catch these babies in the act of throwing something away. I recently found a baby doll in the trash. Caroline was playing with it. She is barely big enough to lift the lid though... how did she manage that?

Caroline is talking a bit and has many words that only I can distinguish. She has lots of teeth and has been out-eating Nathan for the last several weeks. She loves her baby dolls and stuffed animals. She always points the animals out in books and makes noises. She still loves kisses. She is the most needy and it's probably just a girl thing but we don't tolerate it much. I just cannot and will not hold her ALL the time.

Nathan is just a brute. He is average for size but David was always so skinny (usually 10th percentile for weight) and Caroline is tiny as well... he just seems big to me. He is incredibly good natured and easy going. He likes to run all over the house laughing & screaming, continuing to do all the things that we tell him not to do, randomly texting & calling people, having a complete fit when I try to hold his hand in a parking lot and running in the opposite direction that he needs to go. I see a number of parent/teacher conferences in my future!

It is so hard to go anywhere these days. The babies want out of the stroller and I want them to explore but between David running forward, Nathan running backwards, and Caroline being slow and having no idea who to follow, I am certain that I will loose someone soon. We are limited to places that have a fenced in area. I am now one of those people who wants to get a leash for Nathan... I am resisting though. Shock collars would probably work better.


Halloween was really cute this year! I didn't expect David to really get it yet but he GOT IT and he was into it!!! He looked like he was on a mission!!!


I have been trying to lose 20 pounds for the past five months and haven't budged on the scale. This is mainly baby weight that never came off. I didn't allow myself to diet or push myself in the gym as I was nursing two babies. I probably should have but I told myself when they turned a year old that I was going to wean and get back on track. AND I DID... as soon as they turned a year old, we were in the process of weaning and I have been *really* at it since the beginning of July. I have been logging my food and doing quite well with lowering my calories. I average about 1200 calories in food but my downfall is when it comes to beer and wine. That stuff is soooooo bad but it is soooooooooooooooo nice to unwind at the end of the day. I have also been going to the gym and working HARD at least four days a week. Spinning, weights, pilates, running, yoga... I work out at least 10 hours a week. I can tell that I have 'shaped up' but when you run, every pound counts. I have never had great knees and thank God they haven't given me much trouble but I am about to begin my official training for a half marathon. I easily ran the race for the cure, without much effort, in a sea of 15,000+ people, in 30 minutes... I am in great shape and I know it! I want to lose pounds! My knees do not know what I look like, they only know how much weight is being pounded into them with every step. I am living proof that stress will inhibit weight loss... that's my guess. I so badly want this!

I have a little hypochondriac on my hands lately. David had fever a couple of weeks ago and his new thing is to tell me that he doesn't feel good... he even follows that up with, "I have a fever. See it. It's right here." as he points to his forehead. Kinda cute, but he actually doesn't feel well right now and I only believed him when I finally took his temp and he had a low-grade fever. I hope all is well before his party.

I feel like a human piece of toilet tissue... poop, pee & snot. I generally feel like I am covered in any one at any given time. My shirts often look as if I own pet tree slugs.

Last weekend I went to a training to teach some spin classes. I was gone about 8-5 each day... that is the longest I have been away from my children in almost three years. It was awesome! The sad part is that as soon as I get a bit of freedom, I immediately crave more. I stepped back into my world after being on a bike all day and was immediately jumped on and cried at by two people (David was with his grandparents)... I wanted to leave again.

I've gotten a lot of Christmas shopping done. I have to send a box of items to Jeremy's parents soon. It's going to be quite the trip! We still aren't sure if we are going to take a stroller with us. We still aren't sure what the carseat situation will be once we get there. Hell, we aren't even sure what the car situation is... three big carseats equals minivan. I guess we will have to take two cars where ever we go. Then there's the sleep situation... this is the babies first vacation. The house isn't childproofed and it is winter in Wyoming... ack! Snow doesn't accumulate much there so sledding is probably out. OH and there is the absolutely terrifying flight on a tiny prop plane into Cody. Dear Lord! Last time we did it with David, I really thought we were about to crash & die... Jeremy said it was typical. I throw up a little in my mouth just thinking about it! I know it will be a great trip in the end but every mom worries a bit.

I guess that's it for now...

I guess I should post *something*...

I have about four unfinished posts that are now a little too outdated to finish. I guess I will start over and hope that this one actually gets published.

I am teaching a yoga class every Monday now. I am also signed up for a training class for spinning. I will start as a sub and go on to teach as well. There is a lot of me that wants to do this and then there's the part of me that is scared to have any responsibility other than my kids... I can barely make it ANYWHERE on time these days.

The babies have no sense of photoperiod. I honestly thought that they would start sleeping in a bit more once it became darker out. Not so. There was a tiny bit of time where Nathan was getting up at 6 but they have fallen back into the routine of getting up between 5-5:30. Either one of the babies is up by 5:30. It will be C... then it's N's turn. I swear they are conspiring against me!! I am not kidding when I tell you, "If it is not one, it's the other." I do not get a break from the 5am BS, but they take turns sleeping in.

J & I tend to work with their schedule before the time changes so that we aren't totally screwed up when it happens. Up until last night, C starts screaming around 6:45. We hold off as long as we can to put her in the bath... once she is in the bath, she knows that bedtime is around the corner. Last night, we put them in bed 30 minutes later than normal. Hopefully we can continue to work with that strategy. Nathan still woke at 5:30. If they start waking up at 4-4:30 I will begin to fear for their safety!

Jeremy got an xbox as an early Christmas present. I now rarely have any idea when he comes to bed.

My insomnia has gotten better thanks to my little blue friend called the OTC sleep aid. I started with a full dose (two pills) which left me crazy drunk in the morning. I can take one and actually sleep! I will still have a hard time getting back to sleep if someone wakes me up at 4 or so and I do need my coffee in the morning to shake off the loopy feeling. I am so happy to be getting some sleep. I really hate that it is taking chemicals but I was desparate. I fully expect that by the time I am 40, to be eating handfulls of some Judy Garland Trail Mix! HA!

We are going through the "boundaries" stage with the babies, and David is still going to test his as well. I feel like all I do is scold & redirect all day long. No, no, no, no, no, no........... My relationship with my kids feels so negative right now.

My morning: Up at 5-5:30, make coffee, wait on the others to wake (my computer time), cook breakfast, feed three kids, feed myself, change at least two poopy diapers, clean up after breakfast, get clothes on three kids, clothe myself, drink coffee, discipline, get snacks & juice ready, pack a lunch (sometimes), pack diaper bag, load three kids into the van, try to get out the door by 8 to go work my ass off at the gym (bodypump & spinning).

Jeremy's morning: Up at 7:45, shower, grabs lunch & granola bar, pours coffee and leaves for work. This takes him 10 minutes.

Even when he gets up with them, I still have to do 90% of the things on *my* morning list.

I have a number of friends who seem to really enjoy mommyhood. They spend so much of their energy on their children. Homeschooling, sewing/knitting/smocking clothes for them, lots of babies, all the "Mom Groups" and message boards... So much of their world is for their kids. It's honorable and selfless. I truly wish I could be *that* mom but "those" moms make me tired! How do they do it ALL?!?!?
I am finding so much more happiness in my world knowing that my children are growing up and need me less and less.

David is going to be Elmo for Halloween. He does not watch Sesame Street, he has never been interested in it either. Not sure where Elmo came from. He wants Nathan to be Bob the Builder and Caroline to be Bob's partner, Wendy.

I am gearing up for the Birthday/Christmas season. Our nephews were born in Nov & Jan, David is also a November birthday. Christmas on top of it all. Last year I was so bad about sending gifts. This year we are all going to be in Cody. I plan on shipping a box of gifts several weeks in advance. I can't believe it's only two months away. Caroline is getting a kitchen, Nathan is getting a trike, and David is getting a Razor scooter. None of those things are coming to Cody with us, so Santa has to visit Cody too... I'm having a hard time coming up with gifts for these kids as it is!

I OMed...

So, I taught my first yoga class in about three years. I know myself well enough to know that I tend to put too many irons in the fire... I quit teaching yoga when I found out I was pregnant with David. I wanted to concentrate on being a mom... and I was a mom.
For over three years I have been focused on mommyhood and all that comes with it. I am now at a place in my life that I can go back to things outside 'mommyland' and visit with the things that I used to find so much solace in.
One of those things is becoming a teacher again... a teacher of yoga. It is where I want to be with my life, and I CAN be there right now. I feel so fortunate to be able to explore this as an option for my family's livelihood right now and want to try to move as much as I can in this direction.

I taught for years before becoming pregnant... for over five years. I am coming back into teaching yoga with such a different perspective on life. I want to teach how I want to learn... I am not so focused on asana as I am many other aspects of yoga. Chakras, chanting, pranayama...

I did it all during my sub class tonight just to see where I *can* take things in a studio setting. I taught a bit of pranayama... I touched on the Muladhara chakra... and I OMed................... For some reason, nobody will OM here in the south. I have been to Kirtan classes/satsung and classes where there was a chant of some sort, but not OM (AUM). Tonight I OMed... I OMed alone... (in a yoga studio no less) all five students were silent. I will OM again!!!! I am at a place in *my* practice and teaching that tells me that is what I am to do... forget the judgement, forget the shyness. I am putting myself out there as a *real* teacher of yoga and everything that comes with it!!!! Teaching at a studio is different than teaching at the local gym (YMCA or JCC). I think I would be much more inhibited by teaching at a gym that is religiously affiliated but a studio... I am going as far as I can!!!

Ahhhhh....

Caroline is walking!!! She's been at it for a couple of weeks and has been at it full time for about a week! More importantly, she can wear a dress now!!!! I am so excited to be able to put her into a dress. FYI you can't crawl in a dress, so all those dresses I bought her are all going to be worn at least once!!!

The other thing that I have noticed recently is that I can coerce Nathan to the van. That means that I have to take one less trip to the car! For a year now, I have been making at least two (more often than not, three) trips to the van to load up... or unload. It's was such a pain. But I can now get everyone out the door and convince Nathan to come to the van (he's walking on his own) all in one swoop! It may not sound like a big difference but in my world it is HUGE!

That's more like it...

A few posts ago, I mentioned that we needed a new washing machine and I was surprised that J was talking about getting me something new... something nice. I couldn't believe it! We looked at Home Depot and we went to hh gregg this past weekend. I just started to believe that he was actually about to buy us a brand new washing machine!
Today he bought a used one from a guy in our neighborhood for $50... he splurged on the matching dryer with another $50 because the guy would only sell them as a set to get them out of his house. Yes, much more like my dear husband... sigh!

Goals

Get my paperwork in for Yoga Alliance. I will be certified as a RYT-500... Registered Yoga Teacher with 500 hours teaching/learning experience (the maximum that they recognize).

Sign up for some races... Race for the Cure (5k in Oct), Vulcan Run (10k in Nov), Mercedes Half-Marathon (13.1 miles in Feb), Tri-It-On Triathlon in May (my first triathlon).

Ahem... start running. If I am going to be road ready, I guess I need to figure out a way to run. I had a plan at one point in time where Jeremy would feed the kids dinner while I ran. It happened twice and then other things took over.... J being out of town, J being very busy at work. I know the last thing he wants to do when coming home from a day of work is have all three kids thrown in his face. I will figure something out. I am quite fit cardiovascularly and could easily run three miles but not 6 or 13!

Dabble in some yoga teaching. I have talked with one of my teachers here and we are working on an aerial yoga class that could be taught at the J. She has been doing it for years and I have only just begun my exploration into it.

One of my completed goals... the babies are weaned. Yup, since Friday!

Now to get Jeremy to start putting them down at night. I think we are going to rotate... he will have one a night and I will have the other two. All I have to do is not get pregnant again and freedom will be mine!!!!!

About time for a new post...

I'm still going to the gym and have even given up my Sunday morning sleep-in for a couple of hours of working my butt off at a spinning class and yoga afterwards. I haven't been able to sleep in anyway.
I have been dealing with terrible insomnia. What gives?!?!?! My kids are all finally sleeping through the night and I am awake. If Jeremy comes to bed later and wakes me up, I will be awake for a couple of hours after... if I wake up at 4am, I might as well start my day. I close my eyes and just pray that I can squeeze in a few more minutes of sleep before one of the babies wakes up. I was awake a bit before 5 this morning and the babies actually slept past 6!! I've tried drinking a glass of wine to unwind, not drinking because alcohol disrupts sleep, I took NyQuil this past week (I was a bit congested so I wasn't completely abusing over-the-counter meds)... my kids didn't get the message that I took the NyQuil though. They were up more than they have been in weeks and I was hungover the next day from it.
Nathan has been banned to rompers since he can't keep his hand out of his pants. We even had to start putting him in onesies at night because he would wake up soaking wet from sleeping with his hand down his pants.
David starts every sentence with "Because,..." now.
David caught his first fish this past weekend with Pappy. They went to a catfish pond in Bessemer. He caught two on his tiny "Taz" rod & reel!!! We ate the fillets for dinner on Sunday. I wish I had pictures!!!! I think that we are all going to go as a family in the next couple of weeks.
The garden is spent and we are getting ready to start something for the cooler season. I really would like to spend some time studying permaculture. I live in the perfect climate to grow year around. I am somewhat jealous of my homesteading friends... mainly because they are so dedicated. It takes a strong person (mind & body) to work the land and raise livestock.
I have been trying to include a meatless meal in our weekly meal plan. I have even tried to do it on Fridays... being Catholic and all.
My parents kept the kids while Jeremy and I had a date last Friday. We went to LaPaz... YUM. I had fish tacos and Jeremy had carnitas??... it was so nice!
Gotta run!!!